Confessions

Things I told myself I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever do to my kids before I became a mom…

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All photos on this page courtesy of katiejanephotos.blogspot.com (thank you, Katie! I really like ’em, even the goofy ones!)

1. Wipe their snotty nose with my BARE hand. Gross!!

I know, I know. Disgusting. I wash my hands immediately after, and it’s only out of desperation and lack of tissues. It’s ok. You don’t have to shake my hand.

2. Allow them to eat a carrot off the floor.

The healthy cancels out any bad germs, right??

3. Lick my thumb and rub it on their cheek to remove a smudge.

Darn. I feel like that obnoxious aunt in the movies.

4. Say “Do you need to go potty?” It’s bathroom. Bathroom, for Pete’s sake!

Yes! One I’ve managed to keep my word on! Sorry friends, it’s nothing personal. I just can’t get myself to refer to the toilet in toddler terms.

5. Pick a booger for them.

The sink is right there, and no tissues are in sight. I’m desperate and out of options. I certainly can’t let them pick it themselves and eat it!

6. Drink from a water bottle after them (you know the one, it’s swimming with floaties of heaven only knows what!).

Did I really just admit to that?

7. Cry while reading a children’s book. It’s written for kids, why would I get all emotional?

The Little Engine that Could, The Poky Little Puppy, You Are Special, Disney’s Planes, The Napping House… When you become a mom you just cry over everything. Right?

8. Say, “Oh, they just grow up so fast!” Isn’t there anything else that can be said to fill in that awkward silence?

But they do grow up SO FAST!

9. Devour parenting books like there’s no tomorrow (cause I would be way too proud to admit I’m flying by the seat of my pants half the time).

I admit, I fly by the seat of my pants half the time.

10. Wear dorky “mom clothes” just because they’re WAY more comfortable than anything in style.

Doggonit, they reallyย ARE way more comfortable than anything in style.

11. Become my child’s garbage disposal when they can’t finish their Mac and cheese.

And let it go to waste??

12. Let them spit something into my hand.

If they weren’t my own blood, this would never happen. Ever.

…And then I became a Mom.

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By the way, my sister-in-law takes really great pictures and took family photos for us this weekend. She wrote a blog post and put some of the awesome-in-a-not-so-wall-worthy-way pictures in it…the better pictures are to come, but her post made my husband and me almost choke on our toothpaste laughing. Here it is!

Katie Jane Photos–No Boy at All

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Categories: children, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

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16 thoughts on “Confessions

  1. The pictures on your sister in laws post are priceless, especially with the captions. Made me smile.

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    • Oh, thank you! I thought they turned out cute, and the captions seemed to fit them perfectly. She knows her nephews too well. It’s fun to see someone new here! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. This is so great, Chelsi! Oh my, I feel like I am constantly doing something in the moment… Like wiping his nose with my bare hands… and then thinking to myself “Did I really just do that?!! That is such a mommy thing to do. OH WAIT, I’m a mom!” But, it is weird how my own kid doesn’t gross me out nearly as much as other kids. I count that as an extreme blessing from God. ๐Ÿ™‚ awesome post! And… I looked at your sister-in-laws blog and the pictures are all adorable! Way to have cute kids! I wish our boys could buddy up!

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    • If I had a quarter for every time I said, “did I really just do that?!!” I’d be rich! ๐Ÿ™‚ and I know exactly what you mean! My kids’ grossness doesn’t gross me out near as bad as other kids’ grossness does. Funny (and thankfully!) that it works that way! The pictures on Saturday were hilarious. We didn’t think we got a single good one cause they were being so goofy, but even the silly ones I thought turned out fun! Her blog is cute, I love her messages she always tags on with the pictures. I know! I wish that our boys could play! How old is Parker? Maybe they will be college buddies someday. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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      • Haha it really is a blessing that our own boys grossness doesn’t affect us as much. At least for now… Who knows what the junior high days will bring! And Parker is about 18 months old. Is he close to your youngest at all? I was just talking to Sasha and we agreed… Wouldn’t it be great if all of us mommy bloggers could get together in person?! I would just love to see all the kiddos too that we each write so much about!

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  3. Oh, it gets better….you covered the gross, now wait till they are teens and you don’t recognize yourself in the things you say to them. You really won’t believe that. But concerning the here and the now…..a book….thinking you must read Love You Forever. That one still kills me to this day 26 years after I read it to my son for the first time.

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    • Oh, the teenage years. I love to read the Zits comic strip in the paper cause I find it hilarious, but I have to say it makes me a bit nervous for when that mother is ME! You seem to have fared (and are faring) the teenage years well, what advice would you give to those of us who have yet to experience it? Today we are headed to the library and Love You Forever is on our list! It doesn’t take much to set off my tears, and I can tell by the title I’d better keep the tissues handy! ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • I think my mom probably has best philosophy on teens….send them away when they’re 13 and get them back after they’re 21. (Though of course she never did that, that’s just her little saying to make us feel guilty). Hah. Only advice I ever give is that when there is a problem, think only about the kid you’re dealing with, that same baby you wanted so much and to move forward with love in your mind and your heart. If they ever try to come back on you with something they didn’t like, at least you will have a clear look back and know that you only moved forward with love in your heart and your mind. Hah. Seriously though, just know your kids, stay as involved as you can, and know that there is a time when you have to step back, but that doesn’t hurt for long…..it gets a whole lot sweeter when they come to you because they want to and not because there are no other options presented.

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        • I really love this advice. Thank you! That just reminded me of something similar I remember my mother-in-law saying about her youngest, that she thought staying involved and trying to know him was key. I’ll have to remember this in the years ahead, because I think you both exemplify what I hope to accomplish!

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      • P.S. – That specific book is a killer. I have never figured it out. Such simple words and simple pictures, and 30 years later, even thinking about it makes me cry. Will be most interested to see how you fare.

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  4. Hahaha, I can honestly say yes to every one of these. Thanks for the laugh!

    I love that family photo–too cute. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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    • I think my pre-child self would be horrified to see how my priorities have changed! But that’s ok, I’d rather wipe a snotty nose with my bare hand a million times a day than clean hands and no children to care for. Thanks, Sasha! I’m glad to have others who understand this messy time of toddlerhood!

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  5. HA! This is so great is so many ways.

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