What to maybe try to avoid saying to someone about to have a baby…

Yesterday at church a friend approached me to apologize for a comment he’d made last week. “Wow, you’re looking longer than you are wide!” He had said, noting how incredibly pregnant I looked. His wife was mortified that he would say such a thing and was worried he’d offended me. Honestly, I hadn’t given it a second thought. Fact of the matter is, I AM pregnant, and my belly is getting rather huge. He only spoke the truth: this little baby certainly has made me longer than I am wide! So being offended hadn’t even been on my radar. My husband got a laugh out of it.

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People seem to always have something to say to a woman about to have a baby. While I’m not easily offended and have never felt ill feelings about what people have said during those nine long months, I have heard quite a few great comments during my four pregnancies that have made me laugh. In case you happen to encounter a woman carrying a sweet bundle in her tummy, it just might be wise to steer clear of these lovely comments, because I suppose you just never know how she’s going to take it when in that large and awkward state!

Wait, how many kids do you have already??

You have THAT much time left?? You poor thing!

You know what causes that, right?

“Oh, don’t you just LOVE being pregnant?? I just loved being pregnant so much.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to say anything, but now that you mention it…”
(Maybe “oh no, honey, you don’t look like a hippo in that dress!” Would be a better choice)

“I know food doesn’t sound good to you right now, but please don’t forget that the rest of us still enjoy eating.”

“Oh my goodness, are  you really THAT far along?? I had no idea you were even pregnant!” (Interpreted as, “Well, what do you know! I just thought you were gaining an awful lot of weight and letting yourself go.”)

“So…was this one a mistake (or surprise)??”

“No thanks, I’m still SO full from dinner! But if YOU are really hungry, you go ahead and eat that five scoops of fudgey triple-swirl peanut butter ice cream.”

“Let me tell you MY delivery horror story (or my friend’s, or a stranger’s I heard, or one I read about, or…”

And my very favorite…

“Honestly, how hard can it really be? People have been having babies for thousands of years.”

20141221_112921Anything I missed, all you mamas and soon-to-be mamas out there?

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Categories: Motherhood, Pregnancy | Tags: , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

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10 thoughts on “What to maybe try to avoid saying to someone about to have a baby…

  1. Alyssa Markham

    I’m never a fan of the “Haven’t you had that baby yet? I thought for sure you’d have her already!” I’m perfectly content with her not being born yet b/c 1)if she were ready to come out she would, 2)I don’t need sympathy for something I don’t feel bad about. (I’m a bit of a cranky prego lady when it comes to comments. Anything beyond “Congrats!”, “You look great!”, and “Wow you are so tiny!” somewhat make me cringe.

    I had a guy the other day ask if I was “going to drop a load off soon.” REALLY!?!?! That sounds like going #2 not giving birth!

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    • Oh my goodness, Alyssa, I was feeling for you for those last two weeks because of all the comments I was sure you were getting. And, by the way, even up till the very end you DID look great! 🙂 Plus that little girl is adorable. I can’t get over all that black hair. I’m excited to see her in person!

      I’m so curious what you said back to the guy who so very tactfully asked you about your “load”…How do you even respond to something like that?? Jeez.

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  2. Haha! You hit the nail on the head, Chelsi! So true. My favorite during my last pregnancy was when people didn’t even say a thing, they just couldn’t stop staring at my tummy. I was like “Helloo!!! My face is up here!” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kate

    My personal favorite: “nah, you don’t look pregnant. You just look chubby.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kate, it’s hard to imagine you ever looking chubby, even when you’re in the “chubby stage” of pregnancy. When I think of you pregnant, I think about how it took you being 8 1/2 months pregnant for me to almost keep up with you running, and even then I’m sure you were going slow for me.

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  4. Quite a good list, Chelsi. And then there are the times AFTER the baby has arrived and people still make these comments……ugh.

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  5. I got, ‘still pregnant then?’ Two weeks after giving birth😢

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    • Oh man, I bet they felt horrible! I’m just a little past that two week after mark and am wishing I could feel normal again. I’m not sure I’d know how to respond to that one!

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